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You've got your knitting needles and I've got my sledgehammer / you get judgmental and I get a stammer when I'm nervous / I get a stammer when I'm nervous.
You're just a bit of string in my pocket keep appearing / you don't want me but won't let me forget so I'm always hearing your name / to you it's just another wordgame
You've stitched up all the loose ends, unravelled all my self esteem / you're nailing brass tacks in my coffin, I'm walking hammered down your street / I'm hammered. Drinking to forget- I'm fucking hammered.
You've got your knitting needles and I've got my sledgehammer / you still sleep alone as if it never mattered, that first kiss / did you deconstruct that first kiss? Do you forget that first kiss?
The pattern of your words is tattered, let's carve them instead out of stone / you're building up your fortress walls, no windows look into your throne / you've got quotes on acetate sheets instead windows / flimsy words instead of real soul
This incomplete letter that we started and then never sent / a psychic hiccup interrupting hand-written notes I self addressed and enveloped / return to sender all these yellow envelopes
You've got your knitting needles and I've got my sledgehammer / you still sleep alone as if it never mattered, that first kiss / did you deconstruct that first kiss? Do you forget that first kiss? / You've got your knitting needles and I've got my sledgehammer / you get judgmental and I get a stammer when I'm nervous / I get a stammer when I'm nervous
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2. |
SCAB
04:18
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I will be- I will be the hard skin on your bended knees / I will protect you like an insect shell outgrown after a week / then you can genuflect in front of every figurehead that you happen to meet / your soft warm pink parts are safe behind my heart, it only get harder as I bleed / your soft parts are safe in me / I only get harder as I bleed
But you keep picking at / yeah you keep picking at / yeah you keep picking at the wound
Don't throw away the water with the baby, it's the same mistake your mother always made / the skin and the bandage, so hard to disengage, they grow together with blood and age / it's getting hard to disengage / who am I without you anyway?
But you keep picking at / yeah you keep picking at / yeah you keep picking at the wound
I will be- I will be the hard skin on your bended knees / I will protect you like an insect shell outgrown after a week / your soft warm pink parts are safe behind my heart, I only get harder as I bleed / your soft parts are safe in me / who am I without you anyway?
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3. |
Fear of Falling
03:43
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Wide open spaces or enclosed places, I don't feel good anywhere / don't want to go don't want to don't want to do anything if you're not there / I feel this paranoia and I hear these voices when you're not around / I need you- to calm me out and bring me down
But I've got no fear of falling, no fear of falling- no fear of falling in love with you
I get nervous in crowds, I jump at loud noises on the street / it's not that I hate people, it's just all these goddamned strangers I gotta meet / I'm scared of being outed, I distrust the cops, somebody could knock me out / could catch a disease, o god I need some pills please / Woody Allen would be proud
But I've got no fear of falling, no fear of falling- no fear of falling in love with you
I'm scared of relationships, oceans and sinking ships / your blue waters drag me down / Yeah maybe I'm drowning but Dovi it's sounding like you're never coming back around
But I've got no fear of falling, no fear of falling- no fear of falling in love with you
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4. |
3 Dreams
05:30
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I told her a story about a dream I had last night / I was standing waist-deep in cerulean tides / yes maybe I'm ungrounded, but baby I feel fine / got a body full of water and a big ocean mind / and the water was a conduit / it was in me as I sank in it
Then I told her a story of a dream in the desert heat / there were eight ravens crying as they were flying over me / they said, 'Hey there sinner in the sand, don't you understand that you can't go East? / You're searching for salvation but you will only find disease." / and the sky was a conduit / it was in me as I fell through it
Then I told her a story of a dream I had again / I was standing at a funeral, holding hands with my twin / she's a sisters I never could've missed 'cuz she never has been / she's my anima or shadow or whatever lies within / and the earth was a conduit / it was in me as I laid in it
The water was a conduit
The sky was a conduit
The earth was a conduit
But fire- fire only burns
my hand reaches out but my mind never learns
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5. |
SkyBelow
05:03
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You're so whole, you're so complete / bet you find all that you seek / tell me what that's like to be / tell me lies I can believe / You're the strangest angel that I've ever seen / you look like a devil dancing in my dreams / get me behind thee / I need no Revelation to see
Sometimes I thinking about what my father thinks of me / or the time your mother said, "this phase will pass naturally." / My brother knows how to fight a war / doesn't even know what a brother's for / yours? I'll never know who he is / is married, does he have kids
So step with me to edge of the world / and outside boy and an inside girl / My earth shook for SkyBelow / erase my name because I'll never go / to Lithuania
Sometimes I look in the mirror that you hold up to me and I disappear / I know I fucked it all up when I took a head full of stupid fears and typed them in
So step with me to the edge of the world / and outside boy and an inside girl / the ice was thick over the phone / burn the ticket, 'cause I'll never go / to Lithuania
You're the strangest angel that I've ever seen / you look like the devil dancing in my dreams / my earth shook for SkyBelow / erase my name 'cause I'll never go / to Lithuania
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6. |
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she loves her indie movies but I already know the plot, I've seen it before / but if you want to go then hell, let's go together / we'll sneak some drinks in and sit way up in row four
promise not to ask me how it ends, I promise not to tell you / we'll sit there holding hands and watch the story play out like it has a thousand times before
Maybe you'll let your fingers linger on my arm a little too long like you do when nobody's there / and we could talk a little closer in the dark and you would know that nobody would notice how much you really care
promise not to ask me how it ends, I promise not to tell you / we'll sit there holding hands and watch the story play out like it has a thousand times before
she loves her indie movies but I already know the plot, I've seen it before / but promise not to ask me how it ends, I promise not to tell you / we'll sit there holding hands and watch the story play out like it has a thousand times before
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7. |
Apple Cider Vinegar
05:06
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I wish your suitcase had bust wide open and that strange little jar you packed had broken and the apple cider vinegar inside had soaked into your knit clothes / that way everybody walking past maybe going somewhere sunnier would leave this town knowing that same bad taste you left inside my throat.
I wish I would've turned around on Dame Street when you came home early and you asked to meet so your winter words would be received while you were wearing your summer clothes / that way everybody walking past hand in hand would see you waiting and see you standing there, just like you left me all alone
I wish you would've fallen to your knees when you heard "Turn Me On" at Button Factory... fallen into the dirt and beer and stained your jeans, 'cause for you I wore my pretty clothes / that way everybody drinking and dancing around would see you suffocate and see you drown in shame for all the shit you let go down while they listened to CocoRosie
But I'll get up, get posi, it's a beautiful day / don't ever let this town drag you down that way / what's the story, did I lose the plot? / do you love me a little, do you like me a lot?
Get up, get posi it's a beautiful day
Get up, get posi it's a beautiful day
Get up, get posi it's a beautiful day
But I'll get up, get posi, it's a beautiful day / when the sun is shining don't turn your face away / what's the story, did I lose the plot? / do you love me a little, do you like me a lot?
Get up, get posi it's a beautiful day
Get up, get posi it's a beautiful day
Get up, get posi it's a beautiful day
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8. |
Superstitious Girl
03:36
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magpies in the churchyard Saturday morning holding mass, caw-calling out salvation to all us sinners that walk past / and shoes have been left on the corner, just more victims from last night / their tongues cut out, their soles are broke but they put up quite a fight / this is what the world has to offer as I'm passing by / plastic bags do pirouettes just like you and I as we're dancing around the subject, making eyes across the table / we both know what we want to say and know we are not able / our fingers meet a moment but that's all that we can do / think I'll have another drink, think you should have one too / go ahead / it's on me / I don't mind / I'll do whatever it takes just to make you make some time
Now I know you never were a superstitious girl / I've suffered all your questions and your theoretic worlds / some folks call this true love, others call it fate / but if we want the answers have to hurry up and wait / it's gonna take a little time and authenticity but darling those are two things that you never have to beg from me / you're a bull with stormy eyes hiding in a lion's den / and you're drowning dragons in the oceans of your fountain pen / so let's put the voodoo dolls and love potions on the shelf / with a little patience think we'll work this out ourselves / we're dancing around each other like particles through space / and stars shone a million years ago to light your face just tonight / next to mine / and I'm trying / to do whatever it takes just to make you change your mind
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9. |
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She wrote me a letter. This is what it said:
The other day you told me / you felt you won the lottery / moved by your words to share something as well, so here goes / I remember once talking about my hesitancy for any kind of serious relationship, already back then I always saw myself as very independent, self-sufficient and complete / at the same time I had this inner knowing -not a belief or a hope, but a knowing. Not a belief or a hope, but a knowing, a certainty, that there is something magnificent waiting for me / I have to be patient, I've got to be patient and get ready
As I watched you / running / down that hallway / I found myself / thinking / there goes the woman I love
Now don't get me wrong, I never believed in an 'only love' in one's life, but always in liberating, empowering and inspiring love, and that's what I feel since the day I met you / no idea I could be so passionate, so spontaneous and affectionate / and it you think I'm spoiling you with the things I say, well, the words I use do not adequately convey how much I admire you, and though I do miss you there is firm calmness and knowing inside me / knowing our love and respect, our admiration and acceptance is mutual and sincere / I love you and I thank you for being here in my life / always yours
At the end of the letter she wrote, "always yours"
As I watched you / running / down that hallway / I found myself / thinking / there goes the woman I love
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Stunt Lover Dublin, Ireland
Stunt Lover is an ongoing audiovisual project by Kaylee Bear, with various occasional guests.
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